Mean Girls
by Ashleemon
Summary: [[High SchoolMovie Fiction]] Yuffie is the new student from Africa. Being new, she knows nothing about high-school. The Plastics, Rinoa, Aeris, and Dagger, teach her the 'rules' about high-school.
1. First Day of School

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Final Fantasy in anyway. I don't own Mean Girls either. I mean, I won a DVD of it, but I don't own it. You know what I mean.

_Welcome! Thanks for clicking on this story! Well, the story goes along with the movie Mean Girls. Mean Girls is about a girl, Cady, who moves from Africa to the States. She becomes friends with a gothic girl and a gay guy. They make her spy on the Plastics, the most popular girls in school. Yeah. That's pretty much the story. _

**Chapter One** – First Day of School

"This is your lunch, okay? Now, I put a dollar in there so you can buy some milk. You can ask one of the big kids where to do that."

"Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case. Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it. Okay? You ready?"

"I think so."

"It's Yuffie's big day."

'_I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school. But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is five. I'm 16 and until today, I was home-schooled. I know what you're thinking. "Home-schooled kids are freaks." Or that we're weirdly religious or something. But my family's totally normal. Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists and we've spent the last twelve years in Africa. I had a great life. But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University. So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school._'

Yuffie's parents waved to her as she began to head towards the school. As soon as she was about to head into the road, a school bus zoomed past.

"I'm okay. Sorry. I'll be careful." Yuffie crossed the street and stepped onto the campus. People bumped into her. Someone threw a football right in front of her. As she looked to the side, some people had caught something on fire and were attempting to put it out. Two boys pushed each other off the benches. The bell finally rang and Yuffie entered her classroom. She walked up to someone in a dress.

"Hi. I don't know if anyone told you about me. I'm a new student here. My name is Yuffie."

The girl glared at her. "Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass." She turned around and walked off. Two people laughed at her. Yuffie smiled and approached a seat.

One of the people who laughed at her shook her head. "You don't wanna sit there, Eiko's boyfriend is gonna sit there." Yuffie looked at the girl who she thought was the teacher. A boy came up and sat by her.

"Hey, baby." Eiko and her boyfriend began to make out. Yuffie shook her head and walked around to a desk behind some guy.

"No. He farts a lot." The girl shook her head and the boy made a gagging noise. The guy who farts a lot turned around and frowned. Yuffie shook her head again and began to walk to the front of the classroom.

"Hey, everybody." Yuffie ran straight into the person that had come into the room. The donuts and coffee she was carrying went all over the person.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry!" Yuffie helped the teacher get her fallen things.

"It's not you, I'm bad luck." The teacher began to lift up her sweater and her shirt got stuck to it. Then the principal came into the classroom.

"Quistis?"

"My T-shirt's stuck to my sweater isn't it?"

Yuffie tried to smile. "Yeah."

"Fantastic." Yuffie helped Quistis get her shirt back down.

"Is everything all right in here?"

"Oh, yeah."

"So… how was your summer?"

"I got divorced."

"Oh… my carpal tunnel came back." The principal held up his arm so Quistis could see it.

"I win."

"Yes, you do. Well, I just wanted to let everybody know that we have a new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa."

Quistis looked out at a colored girl. "Welcome."

The girl looked at her. "I'm from Michigan."

"Great." Quistis smiled and sighed.

"Her name is Youffie. Where are you, Youffie?"

Yuffie raised her hand. "That's me. It's pronounced like Yuf E."

"My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee."

Quistis nodded. "Well, welcome, Yuffie. And thank you, Seifer."

Seifer smiled. "Well, thank you. And… if you need anything or if you just wanna talk to somebody…"

"Thanks. Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see-through."

"Okay." Seifer looked down at her breasts and looked away quickly. "Okay. Good day, everybody." He exited the classroom.

'_The first day of school was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur. I got in trouble for the most random things_.'

Yuffie stood up in science and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" the teacher asked.

"Oh, I have to go to the bathroom."

"You need the lavatory pass."

"Okay. Can I have the lavatory pass?"

"Haha. Nice try. Have a seat." The whole class giggled as Yuffie took her seat.

'_I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me, where they were always yelling at me_.'

"Don't read ahead!"

"No green pen!"

"No food in class!"

"Aufenthalt in Ihrem zugewiesenen Sitz!"

'_At lunch, it was horrible. I couldn't find a seat! These Asian people rolled their eyes at me and some guys were talking about nipples. Eww. I had a lot of friends in Africa. Then I noticed these colored people. I walked up to them._'

"Jaumbo!"

"What?"

"Never mind."

'But so far, I had no friends in Evanston. So… I ended up eating lunch in a bathroom stall.'

"Hey. How was your first day?"

"Hmp."

END CHAPTER ONE 

_God, my fingers hurt. Oh well. Read and review please!_


	2. The Plastics

**Disclaimer:** Nope. Miokiu still doesn't own .hack.

**Chapter Two** - The Boat Ride and Random Conversations

It was a beautiful day in Mac Anu. Birds were chirping, people where having cheerful conversations, and someone was drowning in the river.

Subaru and Silver Knight glided down the river in Subaru's fancy boat.

"Lalalala! Riding in my fancy boat!" Subaru sang in a high-pitched voice.

'_My God, she must be tone death..._' Silver Knight thought to himself as he stared at Subaru, who was still singing.

She sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. She sang until Silver Knight had had enough.

"GOD DAMMIT SUBARU, SHUT UP!"

She looked at him like he was crazy. "What are you talking about, Silver Knight?"

"Your singing... it's killing me..."

Subaru was paying him no heed. "Hey look, someone drowned..." she pointed down in the water where blonde hair was visible. "Betcha $2-ace that it's BT."

"You're on!" Silver Knight said, reaching down into the water. "I bet its Gardenia!" He grabbed the hair and pulled. The body came up and Subaru gasped. And Silver Knight gasped. And I gasped. And the whole world gasped.

"WTF? Sora?" Subaru shrieked in horror. "What the hell was he wearing BT's clothes and why does he have on a wig?"

Silver Knight chuckled to himself. '_Stupid baka. Didn't think he would go through with it_!'

Subaru sighed. "Oh what is my world coming too?" she said, and then looked down at the water again. "Hey, there's another person down there..."

Silver Knight put his hand back into the water and pulled the body up. Subaru laughed evilly while Silver Knight showed no emotion.

"MUHAHAHA! Mimiru is dead! Now I will have Tsukasa all to myself! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Silver Knight sweat dropped and jumped into the water himself. Subaru blinked. "I'm still on my fancy boat!" she sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. And sang. She sang until Tsukasa randomly came up.

"Tsukasa! Mimiru is dead! Now we can run off into the sunset and make love!"

"Subaru, there's something I need to tell you…"

"What is it my love?"

"I'm a girl."

Subaru stared at him… erm, her. Then she smiled. "That's perfectly okay!"

Tsukasa backed away from her. "I'm not a lesbian, Subaru…"

"Neither am I! I'm really a guy!"

Tsukasa stared at her… erm, him. Wait, hasn't this already happened before? "**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" she ran far, far away. Very far away.

Subaru kicked at the ground. "Dammit, now I'm all alone on my fancy boat!"

"Hark!"

"Oh God…" he knew what was coming.

"Hark! She… I mean He of fair eyes! You shall not be alone, for I art here!"

"Screw you, bitch." Subaru jumped into the water and drowned. Piros stood there.

"**MUHAHAHAHA!** Now I have the boat all to myself!" and then he sailed off into the sunset.

**END CHAPTER TWO**

_I love how this chapter turned out. It was very random…_

Please review!


	3. Entering Girl World

**Disclaimer:** Nothing.

_I got 3 reviews! Go me!_

**Ryu Ematsu** – Yeah, I know its You-ffie, but I like Yuf- E. I think it sounds better. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

**Yuki the Kitsune Youkia** – Go watch the movie now! No, wait, don't. Then you'll know what happens. TT Ah, well, thanks for your review!

**hEaRtS** – Thanks for your review!

**Chapter Three** – Entering Girl World

'_Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world and entering "Girl World." And Girl World had a lot of rules._'

Aeris was going through a list of rules. 'You can't wear a tank top two days in a row, and you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. So I guess you picked today." Yuffie pulled at her short ponytail. "Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays. Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch. I mean, just not you. Like, any of us. Okay, like, if I was wearing jeans today, I would be sitting over there with the art freaks." Aeris pointed at Yuna and Wakka's table. Yuna was putting meat on Wakka's face and he was making weird noises. Yuffie laughed to herself. "Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group. Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you."

"I wouldn't?" Yuffie's head hurt from all these rules.

"Right… oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong."

Rinoa was studying the back of a candy bar. "A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?"

"Forty-eight into 120?"

Rinoa rolled her eyes at Aeris. "I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat."

"It's 40 percent." Aeris, Rinoa, and Dagger looked at Yuffie. "Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X."

Rinoa shook her head. "Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries." She stood up and walked away.

Aeris smiled. "So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?"

"Well, there's this guy in my calculus class…"

"Who is it?" Dagger asked.

"It's a senior?"

"His name's Squall."

"No!" Aeris and Dagger said in unison.

"Oh no, you can't like Squall. That's Rinoa's ex-boyfriend." Aeris's eyes were wide.

"They went out for a year."

"Yeah, and then she was devastated when he broke up with her last summer."

"I thought she dumped him for Zell."

"Okay, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that just, like, the rules of feminism." Yuffie frowned a little. "Don't worry. I'll never tell Rinoa what you said. It'll be our little secret."

Dagger nodded stupidly. "Yeah, secret!"

"We define the sum of the infinite geometric series…" Quistis was writing math equations on the board. Yuffie was staring at Squall.

'_Even though I wasn't allowed to like Squall, I was still allowed to look at him… and think about him… and talk to him_.'

"Hey, Squ…"

"Hey, you're the Africa girl, right?" some guy stepped out in front of her.

"Yeah."

"I'm Tidus, captain of the North Shore Mathletes. We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state and when can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl. So you should think about joining."

Quistis walked over to them. "Oh, you'd be perfect for it."

"Yeah, definitely." Yuffie smiled.

"Great, great. Let me give you my card." He handed her a card. Yuffie took it. '_Tidus, Math Enthusiast/Bad Ass M.C. Right…_' Yuffie thought in her head. "So… think it over. Because we'd like to get jackets."

"Okay…"

Yuffie walked beside the soccer field after school. She saw Squall and waved.

"Hey Yuffie!" he started to walk over to her.

A silver Lexus pulled up behind Yuffie. "Get in loser, we're going shopping."

'_Rinoa's like the Barbie doll I never had. I'd never seen anybody so glamorous_.' Yuffie turned around and walked towards the car.

"So how do you like North Shore?" Dagger asked as they walked through the mall.

"It's good. I think I'm joining the Mathletes."

"No! No, no. No, no. You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you." Rinoa said in a sickly voice. They walked past a crème store and Yuffie noticed Yuna. Yuna did thumbs up and spun around once. Yuffie giggled.

'_Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat_.' Yuffie smiled to herself as she thought about Africa.

Aeris started to jump up and down. "Oh, my God, there's Cloud!"

"Where? Oh, there he is."

"And he's with Tifa."

Dagger nodded. "I heard they're going out."

"Wait. Cloud's not going out with Tifa. **No.** He cannot blow you off like that. He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone." Rinoa held out her hand.

Aeris started to dig through her purse. "You're not gonna call him, right?" she handed Rinoa the phone.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No."

"What's her house number?"

"623-8273." Dagger shouted out. Aeris and Rinoa stared at her. "What? We where friends last year.

"Whatever." Rinoa dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hello. May I please speak to Tifa?"

"She's not home yet. Who's calling?"

"Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you can have her give me a call as soon as she can. It's urgent. Thank you." She hung up the phone. "She's not going out with anyone."

"Okay, that was so fetch." The Plastics laughed and Jennie forced a smile. As they where leaving, Yuffie noticed that Tifa's phone was ringing.

"Mom… what? Mom, I'm not…"

END CHAPTER THREE 

_Heh. My hands are like broken. Please review!_


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